10.17.03 - 2:31 pm
so i'm not sure why i continue to stare into little make believe white boxes on my computer screen... it's not even inviting.
it's not inspiring.
it's not anything.
and i'm full of shit for saying so, just like everyone else is full of shit. i mean, who analyzes a fucking computer? me. full of shit.
i've been inspired to write recently, and today i figured out one of the main reasons i don't, is because of the little white boxes. it's 2D and driven only by what kind of graphical subroutines this operating system is choking on, but it is as real and as life sucking as a piece of unrecycled bleached paper, sapped from the rainforests of the world, chopped up and spit out for my very amusement. yeah. i'm full of shit. but if these boxes were black, a void, a black hole -- a cataclysmic infinity to which all matter is sucked, condensed and destroyed - i might be mused.
or maybe the world is inspiring, but in every way opposite of how i wish, therefore proving that the only things i can talk about are negative things. is that true? i doubt it. i don't really care, even.
i was thinking the other day about friends. and how i came across the friends i have. and how long it actually took me to really know them. and if i'll ever be able to keep making friends. i've met a large amount of new people recently, due to class, new band, other friends. i'm always feeling like the odd-man-out, but evidentally, this comes with meeting new people. until you, quote, FIGURE them out. unquote. but i don't remember feeling so awkward initially meeting the people i take to heart now. maybe that's something we all throw away, eventually, out of our minds.
time to go for now. here's to you, box.
