10.22.02 - 1:22 am
to be brutally honest. this is how i feel sometimes.
i'm in love with you. and i love you. when we talk about those things, and all the things we require out of one another, it gets really confusing to me.
i don't know if we do more good for one another in a relationship than bad. i know we love eachother, but does our relationship work for you? i get the feeling it doesn't.. and it's not from my end either. until these problems occur. and i'm not saying i dont' like to solve problems, but i'm really confused as to how these can actually occur when you say all those wonderful things about me as a person, but all those troubling things about our relationship. and i'd ask myself what we need... and i don't know. i just don't know.
can it be possible for people to love eachother but be unable to have a functioning relationship? i don't know. i try my hardest.. i do my best, but i don't feel successful until things start to break apart. then somehow i do things right to put us back into place. until we're back on top, then it breaks down again. nothing changed.
i just feel like sometimes, we're waiting for this certain peace from one another... or in your case, a daily change in someone. something new, something fresh, something always happening, something stronger than the person you're with at all times, to surprise you. and i'm just waiting to be myself.. and for that to be the only thing a person who is in love with me requires. maybe i am a bit brutal.. but you ask me what it is i need.. and that is to be myself.
so the question is again.. i know we love eachother, but are we right for one another? or are we just causing eachother to lose everything else by holding on to one another? a lot of the things you tell me would say yes. but then again, a lot of the thing we feel would speak otherwise. i know confusion.
