05.20.03 - 1:29 AM
blah blah blah.. i'm the underappreciated man of the century. i mean.. i don't have an ego i boister without reason, i'm don't hit people (unless they just absolutely deserve it), i don't try to kill people, i'm not materialistic, i'm not manipulative to a point of self-infliction, i'm not most of the guys i know...
sometimes i don't care about who i am anymore. i lose more and more respect for myself the more i let people disrespect me. fuck, i couldn't tell you if i have much of it left anyway.
part of me is like... fuck it, just sleep it off. just sleep. who cares. just go to school, get your job, and move on. i'm motivating myself to run away from my life sometimes, and almost all the time.
so what am i supposed to do about the people in it? half of them couldn't care less anyway, i feel like a goddamn trophey half the time.
my friends keep me around because i'd kill myself before unsatisfying them. my girlfriend keeps me around because i'm the closest thing anyone's got to a real man around here. the rest are stuck in high school, or lie about anything to benefit themselves. does everyone take me for granted? fuck yeah, even myself.
you know, i used to wonder why i wasn't as educated or as worldly "seasoned" as a lot of people i know, but i've figured out that all these people who LOVE to move on and enjoy life also love for people like me to stay right where i am in case their plans go to hell.
